Otis Goes to Hollywood!

OTIS GOES TO HOLLYWOOD.

                                        (My biceps have biceps on their biceps)

Well, God damn it all folks. It's Dustin again and i am unfortunatley reviewing yet another Crappy comic book. As i introduce this article i must apologize for any swearing you may encounter, due to my complete and utter frustration to the fact that someone woke up one day and said"Yes, Today i make my dream of Otis going to town real!"

Otis was written and illustrated by Bob Fingerman.( You deserve to die, And i hope you burn in hell!)

Let's just get it out in the open right now. Otis is a combination of the Arnold Schwarzenegger film "Commando" and the pornographic film "Deep throat." No you didn't hear wrong. The story starts as Otis, an amnesia stricken black ops marine goes to Hollywood in search of his Twin brother Craig,the only person he remembers. Craig also a black ops marine. Immediately arriving in Hollywood Otis magically finds a porno film studio, in which his brother Craig works part time when not killing terrorist cells. The comic doesn't explain this next part well, but what i interpreted was that the porno film director offers Otis his brothers job because they are twins

Quickly Otis takes over the porn industry around the Hollywood area donning the stage name, i shit you not"Oscar Mayer Otis." Now i don't know if this is great marketing or ruining hot dogs for me with every passing thought. 

                                        (........Yummy?)

So Otis continues working the porn circuit and stumbles onto a porn actress(No pun intended) who dated his brother Craig. With no new information about his brother Otis decides to date this woman who is named Lucy, and they fall madly in love. Two pages later Otis is on another porn set which is appropriately themed in a military warzone. So Otis is shooting machine guns while going to town on another porn star, named krystal, who he thinks he is developing feelings for.(You read that right)

Meanwhile on another porn set, Craig shows up on Lucy's porn set, pretending to be his brother Otis just so he can bang her. Word gets back to Otis in unrealistic time and for about 1 page Otis runs from his porn set screaming "CRAAAIIIIGGG!!!!!"

The final act of this sticky,Paris Hilton flavored comic Otis finds Craig sleeping with Lucy. Otis kills Craig by literally flicking his head off. Then he calls Lucy a cheating whore and dumps her. Otis then marries porn star interest number 2, Krystal and they retire from pornography. The final panel is the two kissing as Krystal hands Otis a lunch pale as he leaves to go to work as a Butcher.The subplot of Otis having amnesia is never resolved.

This story was harder to read than it is to watch Schindler's list. This comic is an insult to comics and graphic novels. For every Alan more, there is a Bob Fingerman. Fuck you sir. Fuck you very much for having to put your sick amnesia porn star fetish idea onto pad and paper. Well folks, i am going to get online to find a sniper rifle, Bob fingerman and i are going to have a certain chat about me being the last thing he never sees.

                        (Poor krystal, retired from porn and still has meat in her face)